Sometimes, letting go seems like the easiest thing to do. But think about this: you’ve invested so much of your time and energy into another person. If you are married, you’ve made a solemn promise; and you still know there’s love, even if it’s hiding underneath the surface. Thought to share this article that can still go a long way saving a marriage or relationship and avoid separation or divorce. Let’s get started with the first – Make Each Other your Number 1 Priority!
MAKE EACH OTHER YOUR #1 PRIORITY
This doesn’t mean that you have to spend all of your time together, but rather that you make each other feel that you are the most important thing to each other (as opposed to work, the kids). If you don’t, talk about it as soon as you start feeling that way to keep the distance from growing too wide. Open the door for reciprocity by saying something like, “Lately, I don’t feel like you are number-one priority. I’m wondering if you feel the same way.” “Come up with three things that he can do to make you feel like his main priority,” Ok, you may try this, “We used to email once a day, and we don’t anymore. Can we do that again?” Or something like , “We’re always running in different directions. Could we please spend Sunday nights together?”
SPEAK UP IN A FRIENDLY WAY
“Research shows that women who report keeping their mouths shut in arguments with their spouses or team mates have a four times greater risk of heart disease as compared to women who speak up,”
“Say what you mean and be direct. Don’t expect your husband or boyfriend to mind-read you, because you’re only setting yourself up for fighting and disappointment.” For example, your husband may not think it’s a big deal to tell his buddy about your marital problems, while you feel like that’s an invasion of privacy. Rather than stewing silently, tell him that you understand that you have different expectations about what information is personal, and share a list of topics you’d rather he keep between the two of you.
INFIDELITY/CHEATING KILLS TRUST
There are three different types of cheating: physical, emotional, and digital. With digital, it’s especially unclear what counts as cheating. Is it okay to friend an ex on Facebook? Or to stream porn videos? Have a five-minute conversation about what each of you views as infidelity. “It’s likely that one of you will cheat without knowing it if you don’t have this talk,”
ACKNOWLEDGE/APPRECIATE YOUR SPOUSE’S PRESENCE
“If you’re not actively recognizing your mate when he/she walks through the door by greeting him and instead keep talking on the phone or typing away, you’re sending the message that his presence means nothing to you,” It falls on you to make your marriage a great place to be by choosing the right words and actions every day, or else, you can quickly go from “I do” to “I’m done.” The goal is to display certain values — respect, appreciation, intimacy, compassion and cooperation — on a daily basis to keep love alive.
Practicing gratitude can go a long way in a marriage or relationship, whether it’s thanking your husband or boyfriend for taking out the trash, or making time for him because he has given you the ability to have a life outside of your relationship. “Gratitude is a powerful feeler,” “A lot of us need to learn and just say, ‘thank you. I know you’re not perfect and I am not perfect, but thank you for sticking it out.’”
CREATE A HAPPY COMMUNICATION ROUTINE (MARRIAGE)
Every couple has a daily communication routine, such as how you greet each other or ask for things. “Research finds that 25 percent of couples don’t say good night to their spouse, and of those couples, 75 percent have thought about ending their marriage,” “These are manners that we instinctively know to practice when we’re dating, but often stop doing once we’re married. Rudeness takes hold of our relationship because we falsely assume that love will endure.” Something as simple as giving him a daily kiss when you wake up next to him can have a big impact your marriage. Or sometimes Pillow-fight between spouses helps create more mutual feelings in a relationship or marriage. Those little daily moments are what make for happy relationships.
GIVE YOUR PARTNER CHARACTER-COMPLIMENT AMONG FRIENDS & FAMILY
“When you get married, you’re taking on the role of your mate’s head cheerleader,” “If you don’t fill that role, you’re leaving the job open to someone else.” This means giving your partner character compliments. Rather than saying, “Your tie looks great,” speak to who he is with, “You’re a wonderful father for always helping our daughter with her homework.” It’s also important to show appreciation for all the little things he does to make you happy.
RE-PLAN YOUR RELATIONSHIP DURING CHALLENGE TIME
Recognize that every time you hit a life milestone — such as having a baby, losing a job, or moving — it’s time for a renegotiation of responsibilities. “If you don’t have a conversation, your expectations and needs change, and your mate won’t have any idea why you’re so frustrated when he’s doing the same thing he’s always done,” “Let’s say your mother is sick. You could tell him you need him to make dinner for the kids even though that’s always been your job, or ask him call and check in on the days you take your mom to the doctor. “You may think it’s obvious that he should call you, but it might not be to him — and that doesn’t necessarily make him a bad person,”.