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The Lovebirds, R&B singer Timi Dakolo and his wife Busola are one happy couple. They are blessed with three adorable children. Recently, Timi made a bold decision to feature his wife as the lead in his song “Iyawo Mi” and the result was simply lovely. In a recent interview with Punch, Here are what they had to share about their Marriage secrets, how they settle differences et al.
How did you meet each other?
Timi: We met at the House on the Rock church. I was not searching then, but simply minding my own business when I spotted her. I was standing behind the choristers on the podium when I sighted this fine girl. I went to speak to her by asking her why she was frowning in church. I remember saying, ‘Hi, my name is Timi Dakolo,’ and she said, ‘and so?’ You would not believe that she gave me a fake number and I started searching for her every Sunday until I finally caught up with her and challenged her for giving me a wrong number. It was my lucky day because that was how we started talking. This was in 2010.
Busola: I gave him my genuine phone number but he thought it was a wrong one. Unfortunately, my phone got missing that day. After service, he followed us in a car to know where I was staying and later on, he kept coming to the house.
Why didn’t you attend to him the first day?
Busola: I was not in a good mood that day. I went to church with a dampened spirit. I agreed to attend the service that day because I was encouraged to do so; it wasn’t just a good day for me.
How did the courtship fare?
Timi: Initially, she suggested that we remained friends. I was afraid she could end up placing me in the ‘friend zone.’ I begged her to allow us move beyond friendship to lovers but she insisted. This was after more than a year. I patiently waited because I knew what I wanted.
Busola: We courted for two years and some months. I never knew I could get married to someone in the entertainment industry. I felt they were not serious-minded people.
Why is Timi an exception?
Busola: While he kept asking me out, I realised he was different from other artistes. He turned out to be a wonderful person.
Did you have the conventional proposal?
Timi: I went to visit her and then put the ring in an empty plate of food. I was a little scared that she might say no but at the same time, I was convinced it was time to do it.
Busola: It happened early in the morning. He said he wanted to make me breakfast in bed then he came with the plate covered and stayed a few minutes. I wasn’t expecting anything more than noodles but he opened the plate and brought out a ring.
As a fast-rising star then, did you think it might be difficult to find true love?
Timi: No, I never thought so and I knew I would marry for love. I am very emotional, and if something goes wrong, it destabilises everything.
Where your in-laws receptive?
Timi: I remember going to see her father alone. He is in the military. He called me Timi the Singer. We started talking and he told me how brilliant my wife is and how much he loved her. I listened with fear but I am glad it went well.
What are some of the memorable moments in your union?
Timi: The arrival of our children—I have always been in the labour room. I was the first person who carried my third child when she was born. Other memorable moments include our travels, our ‘alone time’ at home with and without the children. It has been a beautiful journey thus far and I have learnt much being a father and husband. I also feel the collective responsibility of not having to think for only you alone any longer, is a high point of my marriage. You can’t just wake up and go out on your own. When I stay outside for a long time, my wife would call me up and sarcastically say, ‘greet those people wey dey there with you for me o. Its past 11pm greet them goodnight.’ It has been a jolly ride with ups and downs.
What has helped your marriage grow?
Busola: Patience and nothing more. It is good to be patient because sometimes what you get from your husband might be surprising. You must just be patient as a woman because the man is always the head of the family. Pray too and God will fix the rest.
What qualities continue to endear you to your partner?
Busola: Humility and the fear of God. We pray and worship God together. Immediately he gets the inspiration for a song, he comes to me. That triggers something in me and makes me feel like he really appreciates my opinion. He is a simple person.
Timi: It is always the physical attraction. I don’t think men fall in love because a lady can pray. She is very God-fearing and can pray. When we first met she was always asking us to pray and it got tiring at some point.
You are both from different tribes?
Busola: I love intercultural marriages and the fact that we are both from different tribes doesn’t bother me at all.
Timi: I know what I want and I don’t think tribe is a barrier to two persons in love. On the long run, the two will be under same roof, face their issues and spend the rest of their lives together. Every other person is secondary.
What is that thing you would love to change about each other?
Busola: He stays on the phone for too long. I want him to spend more time with me instead of being on the phone.
Timi: She should be fast when we are going out and apply her make-up hurriedly.
How do you manage disagreements?
Busola: We both apologise.
Timi: Whoever is at fault apologises first and more often than not, she does. I also do occasionally.
Do you two run a joint account?
Busola: No, we trust each other and don’t need to show each other our bank statements.
Timi: We don’t have joint account but monthly budgets. We have different accounts for different things and support each other financially.
What is the most memorable gift you have received from your partner at Christmas?
Busola: They are too numerous to mention as each year holds something memorable.
Timi: Her endless love for me each passing day surpasses any Christmas gift.
What is marriage to you?
Timi: It’s simply two different persons coming together to spend the rest of their lives forever. It sounds big and risky but it comes with favour, grace, maturity and a certain level of respect depending on how you manage it. After I am paid for a show, I share the money into several places, and just a fraction gets to me because a lot of people are involved in the matter.
Was that why you sang the track Iyawo Mi?
Timi: It was borne out of my love for my wife and I expressed it in the song. It was written a long time ago but I sang it for the first time on my wedding day.
How do you feel listening to the song?
Busola: The first day he sang the song I felt like crying. I knew he genuinely loves me. When he asked me to feature in the video, though I am a very shy person, I obliged him.
Timi: Though she hadn’t appeared in a video before, I had to keep explaining to her and I am glad it turned out fine. The song is about her, and would not make sense doing it with someone else.