Ways to refresh your marriage this 2015

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The start of the New Year is the perfect time to start making improvements to your marriage. Follow these thoughtful tips and watch your relationship bloom like a prize daffodil.

  • LAUGH IT UP: Expensive vacations are nice, but all it really takes to feel more connected is a good belly laugh. According to Scientists, laughter releases endorphins that help us bond with one another. So stop stressing about that UK/US vacation you can’t afford, and instead schedule a weekly date night where you watch funny movies and standup comedians together.
  • GO SOFT DURING AN ARGUMENT: To argue is good but should be educative. A “soft start-up” to conflict conversations is crucial. Start by respectfully acknowledging your partner’s point of view, and then gently bring up your own. This turns you into partners working together to solve a problem, rather than enemies fighting to the death.
  • HAVE AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE: When you’ve been with someone a long time, it can be easy to focus on everything that’s wrong with him or her. But a study showed that expressing gratitude for your partner increases “relationship connection and satisfaction the following day, for both recipient and benefactor.” So tell your honey what you appreciate about her and see how much happier you both feel.
  • TALK DIRTY: Research shows that, “speaking or hearing erotically charged words stimulates dopamine transmission, which plays a huge role in sexual excitement. They can enhance the emotional and physical intensity of the experience.”
  • TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN HAPPINESS: If you’ve been blaming your partner for your feelings of stagnation or boredom— I will advise you stop it henceforth. Relationships thrive when both parties take responsibility for their emotional well-being.
  • TRY SOMETHING NEW TOGETHER: It only makes sense that taking up a challenging new activity together would increase your satisfaction with both life and your partner. So go crazy! Work out together, go shopping or grocery together like shoprites, the game etc, Race cars together.
  • REACH OUT AND TOUCH SOMEONE: Hugging your beloved, or even just holding hands, lowers your blood pressure and heart rate. So the next time you feel stressed, grab your sweetie and hug it out.
  • HANG OUT WITH HAPPY PEOPLE: Scientists showed that the happiness of an acquaintance or friend increases your own chances of happiness by 15 percent. That’s right. Just knowing a happy person makes you 15 percent more likely to be happy yourself. Conversely, your happiness automatically boosts the happiness levels in your entire social network—and your marriage. This doesn’t mean you should ditch your unhappy friends or hide your unhappy feeling, of course. Supportive friendship and healthy emotions are an essential part of a happy life.
  • TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR PART OF THE PROBLEM: Nothing shuts down a negotiation faster than one party blaming the other for everything. No matter what the issue, it takes two to tango. So suck it up and acknowledge your role in the conflict. This automatically transforms an unproductive victim-villain narrative into a collaborative, empathetic one in which both parties feel respected and validated. This goes a surprisingly long way toward refreshing a stale dynamic.
  • DO NOT KEEP MALICE/GRUDGE: We all know people who hoard small resentments like ammunition, then unexpectedly explode at a minor provocation. Don’t be that person. Air out your resentments and sour feelings—respectfully—as they occur. You’ll be surprised at how much easier and more productive your conflict discussions will be.
  • FOCUS ON FUN (AND FLIRTING): How long has it been since you went on a fun, sexy date? Think twice
  • OFFER SOLUTIONS: When you have a beef with your partner, offer constructive solutions instead of dead-end criticisms. Don’t talk about what you don’t want. Talk about what you do want.
  • KISS LONGER: Make it a habit to plant lingering, passionate smooches on your partner, instead of quick, dry pecks on the pucker. Remember a soulful kiss triggers endorphins, melts away tension and contributes to a fulfilling, loving relationship. Try it every day for a week and see how much happier you both are.

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