(Episode 1) Why my Pastor sleeps with all female members..Beware of Student fake Pastors

Since the church turned into a booming business, like the proverbial eldorado a city of gold, where you run into and will never come out the same, private jet, mansions and celebrity status you attain is one that can’t be measured, my name is Ken , a graduate of petroleum engineering, left school with high hopes and fours without getting a job, it became evident to me that the world out their is a jungle, a jungle where even lion the supposedly king of the forest has to struggle for its own food and protect or else scavengers would the food out his mouth.

I decided that I won’t die a poor man, for my friend Ferdinand always say “Pile this money up and damn the consequences” , Poverty shoved me and I registered in a theology school, money I got from my generator and television I sold to my neighbours, six months gone in theology school, we were set for graduation and I couldn’t wait to go out to the world and showcase my talent but my major concern was how to get a structure to use as my church, atleast a temporary structure so that I can gather members too like others so I decided to come out with a plan.

On our graduation day as we were all seated in the large hall of “Holy cross theology school” while parents, friends and wellwishers of other graduant trooped in, I slowly studied the crowd, amongst them I spotted an elderly woman, she should be her late 40’s, she had the classic look of a wealthy and influential person, I choose her as my target that day, we all danced and sang praises all through that afternoon and when it got to time for resfreshment, the crowd began to regroup themselves, everybody gathering around whom they came to see, but I noticed the woman I had spotted as my prey was all alone with no one sitting beside her, it became evident to me that she was alone, so I decided to make use of that chance as I walked towards her and drew a chair closeby and sat by her sad

ME: Bless you madam, am pastor ken!

The woman turned to me and said “mrs Osas” stretching her hand in handshake and immediately our hands touched, i went into shouts as I shook my head and closed my eyes tightly

ME: Oh lord! Yes lord, thank you father, Mama so you are the one God sent to come visit me as my parents here today

I opened my eyes slowly, my heart throbbing fast and wishing my little act would have an effect on her, she looked at me and then suddenly burst into tears

MRS OSAS: {Crying} My son died exactly a day after graduating from this theology four years ago and since then I have made it my special duty to come here every graduation day to pray for him

My heart leapt for joy for my act has corresponded with what was happening in her life, I grabbed her hand and continued this time much more bold than before

ME: Father! the all sufficient father, Oh papa you made a promise that you shall wipe away our tears, I feel humbled for choosing me

Then I opened my eyes this time, maintaining eye contact with her to subdue every feat of doubt

ME: Mama, God has heard you prayers, he told me to tell you that Esosa is in his bosom and that you should take ne as your son now

I knew the moment I mentioned her sons name every doubt she had has been ousted but when she introduced herself and told me her surname and the predicament she felt, my mind quickly ran to our hall of fame in school which has just two people’s obituary and one of them was Efosa Osas, she bought my story hook, line and sinker.

Mrs Osas a widow and wealthy school proprietor, willingly gave me her large school hall as the venue for my church and even bought all the equipments ranging from microphone to bandsets and all other necessary stuff, since the church business is a very competitive one the name you call your church matters, like the musicians you see on televesion who has to carefully select a name he wants to bear and even his A.K.A has to be something appealing, after so many weaks of battling with the name my church should answer, I finally settled for ‘JEHOVA SHARP SHARP MINISTRIES’ and my A.K.A was PASTOR DO GOOD.

Ferdinand became my P.A as we rallied round the community for members, I was able to convert few members that helped in circulating my flyers for an upcoming crusade and the day for the crusade finally came, chairs were set and alter was decorated with the name of church boldly written, the time for the crusade was fixed at 4pm but when that time came, not even one single new member was present, I got angry and then carried my bible and walked to the street, sitting at a corner preaching and shouting at the top of my voice, crowd began to gather round me, and when it got to time for deliverance, I told the crowd to lift there hands up

ME: The lord is here with us, I say he is here with us, like he promised the disciples that he would always be with them! any of you under demonic attack I release holy ghost fire!

By my third shout of Holy Ghost fire, the ground began to shout “Jesus christ” “miracle don happen ”

I watched as a man in wheel chair carried them up and began to dance, the crowd went into wild jubilation singing each song I raised out loudly, and I continued

ME: I say to night God will answer all your prayers, Holy lord {dancing and running in circles}

I paused and then grabbed my microphone and looked up as I continued

ME: Yes lord speak to me O lord, deliver your people, who is emeka

And the noisy crowd suddenly stopped talking, silence everywhere as I began to talk again

ME: Emeka Iwuanyanwu! yes the lord never lies, emeka come out for your salvation is here

A dark boy with a slender body frame came from the now huge crowd and knelt down before me crying

ME: Emeka you father was angry with you before he died, you never obeyed him while he was alive.

He shook his head in confirmation and I turned to the crowd

ME: All these young boys/girls you see that God wasn’t joking when he said you should honour your parents!

As I turned and placed my hand on his head, he began to tremble, shaking vigorously until he fell to the ground

I then turned and looked at the crowd, wiping sweat of my face as I said

ME: If you want to give your life to christ today, raise your hand

This is always the litmus paper every pastor uses to know his preaching had an effect on the people he was preaching to, the huge crowd all raised their hand and my eyes met that of ferdinand as he smiled amongst the crowd.

The truth is that I hired two theatre arts student from a university very far away from the community where my church was situated, to come pull those acts of miracle for me and they executed it well for me, As I hurriedly began to close the crusade, a young lady out the crowd rushed out of the crowd and grabbed my legs, kneeling before me shouting,

GIRL: Pastor what is my own problem o! God should answer me

I almost felt like stabbing her to death, for one little mistake this girl will ruin everything for me so I said

….. Stay tuned to Episode 2



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