Madam Funmi brought out her phone from her bag to see an unknown number calling; she thought it was one of those numerous extended family members calling to ask for money or jobs. She ignored the call and went back to the magazine she was reading. The call persisted and then went off. A beep and she picked up the phone to see a message in the notification bar. She opened the message. It read:
“I have a very important information to give you about Terence”
She read the message again and again.
Fumni: “Terence? What could be happening to him? Is he sick or something? The last time I saw him was about 3 months ago after he told me that he was travelling to Ghana for business, I haven’t been able to reach him on phone since then. Oh my baby boy, I hope you are fine wherever you are”, she soliloquized and dialled the number.
Vicky: “hello, ma. I know that Terence means a lot to you and…” she started to say before Funmi interrupted her.
Funmi: “Who are you and what are you talking about?” she interrupted her.
Vicky: “My name is Vicky, I am a corps member in Kaduna state. I am calling to inform you that Terence whom you have spent so much for got married to my best friend last weekend…”
Funmi: “What!” she screamed into the receiver. She could not believe what she just heard. “Are you sure of what you are saying? Terence is supposed to be in Ghana…” she trailed off.
Vicky: “Ghana ko, Gambia ni. Madam, Terence just did you MMM and he has married another woman with your money” she taunted her.
Funmi: “You know what, pick the next available car drop to Abuja, meet me at Silver restaurant in Garki area 10, I will be here waiting for you and I will take care of your transportation fare” she instructed Vicky.
Vicky jumped up in excitement and began to get dressed.
Vicky: “I am going to Abuja o” she said to Nkiru who was staring at her with disbelief.
Nkiru: “Abuja ke? Remember that tomorrow is our monthly clearance o. Which kind emergency Abuja journey be this one again?” she asked her friend.
Vicky: “Who said I will sleep there? I will come back today and still make it for the monthly clearance tomorrow. The woman I just called is Terence’ sugar mummy and she said I should meet her in Abuja for us to discuss more” she was grinning from ear to ear at the thought of Funmi ruining Terence and Chioma’s happiness.
Nkiru: “Vicky! How did you get his sugar mummy’s number?” she queried.
Vicky: “Let that be my little secret. Terence doesn’t know how smart I can be” she beamed.
Funmi: “So what you are telling me is that he has been in the relationship with the girl all these while?” she asked after Vicky had taken her seat opposite her in the posh restaurant.
Vicky: “yes ma, he was my boyfriend until he started going out with you. I broke up with him because I felt it will be unfair for him to be cheating you considering the fact that you were so nice to him. After I broke up with him, he started dating Chioma who was my friend. Any money he got from you, he gave it to her. Even the car you bought for him, she was the one driving it and they were living together in the apartment you rented for him. He is the one taking care of all her family members and sponsoring her education with your money, I have never seen that kind of a thing in my life before” she lied.
Funmi: “no wonder he has been acting strangely recently. Sometimes he even prevents me from going to see him in a house I paid for” she said going down memory lane.
Vicky: “Yes o, madam. In fact, you need to see photos of their traditional wedding, it was the talk of the village all through last week and I am sure that he used your money to do it because the Terence that I know does not have any job other than lying to you and collecting your money” she added.
She brought out her phone and showed madam Funmi all the photos and videos from Terence and Chioma’s traditional wedding that she had saved from Chioma’s Facebook wall.
Madam Funmi was shocked to see Terence all smiles and happy.
Funmi: “Wait a minute; is that not my gold jewellery on his wife? Even that wristwatch she is wearing is mine. Oh my God, so he was also stealing from me?” she asked rhetorically.
Vicky: “Ah, he stole plenty things from you o madam. You would not know because you have so many things. Do you even know the worst part of it all?” she paused for effect.
Funmi: “What?” she asked staring at Vicky suspiciously.
Vicky: “Sorry to say this o but he told us on campus that your vagina is too wide, that you are lazy in bed, and that you have a chronic body odour that is why your husband does not make love to you anymore and that is why you spent so heavily just to keep him as your sugar body” she lied again.
Funmi’s face took on an expression of horror and her fist clenched.
Funmi: “He will pay dearly for all these, I swear he will” she said and paid Vicky off handsomely after obtaining all the information she needed about Chioma and Terence.
Mr Fabian went to his spiritualist who fortified him spiritually against attacks from his political opponents. The spiritualist who was an old man with bald head and sinister eyes that could penetrate the soul was communing with the spirit of his dead relations when M Fabian got there. Mr Fabian had to wait for more than 30 minutes before the man attended to him.
Mr Fabian: “Baba, I need your help again o, my wife will not kill me before my time o. I came back from my trip abroad recently and from the way she was behaving, I am suspecting that she has been bringing a man into my house to sleep with her but she would never admit it and she is so smart that I can never catch her in the act. During my last trip abroad, I met a beautiful and young Ghanaian girl whom I want to marry. Now to do that, I have to get rid of Funmi but I don’t want to harm her in any way. So, I want you to consult and show me if actually she has been bringing men into my home so that I can use that to chase her away without anyone condemning me. I would have installed secret cameras in my house but you warned me not to do that because it was against the wishes of the gods that I have that in my house ” he said briskly.
Spiritualist: “Hahaha…women have always been the cause of their own misfortunes. You know the rule, drop some money in this calabash” he said.
Mr Fabian did as he was instructed and dropped two bundles of naira notes in the calabash.
Spiritualist: “Did you come with any of her personal belonging?” he asked him after closing the calabash.
Mr Fabian: “Yes, baba” he brought out his wife’s pant from a small nylon bag that he was holding with his left hand.
Spiritualist: ‘Drop that in the calabash too” he opened it for him to do so.
Mr Fabian complied and the spiritualist went down to business, chanting incantations and invoking the spirit of the dead to make visible what was hidden in the physical realm. Few minutes later, he smiled mischievously and commanded Mr Fabian to look into the calabash. There in the calabash on display was his wife and Terence making love on his matrimonial bed, he saw how she had hidden him in the wardrobe when she heard him knock. Mr Fabian watched in horror as his wife desecrated their matrimonial bed with a boy young enough to be her son.
He wiped the sweat that was forming on his brow with his handkerchief and looked at the baba.
Mr Fabian: “baba, can you help me to catch her red handed?” he asked the old man who was still making incantations.
Spiritualist: “of course, how do you want it?”
Mr Fabian: “Anyhow baba, I just want to catch her red handed so that I can capitalise on that to embarrass her and divorce her. As for the boy I will catch with her, I am sure that his blood will be useful for my annual human sacrifice”
Mr Fabian: “Hmmn…that your wife is like the stubborn fly that follows the corpse to the grave. I am sure that she would still go back to the boy. Tell her you need to travel out urgently for a business trip, when I call you, go back to your house and catch her in the act” he smiled mischievously revealing his toothless gum.
Mr Fabian: “I will kill him, I swear to God I will kill the two of them with my bare hands, it is a promise” he fumed.
Funmi dialled Terence’ number with her private number and he, not knowing the identity of the caller picked her call.
Funmi: “So it is true that you are avoiding my calls?” she thundered on phone.
Terence: “Erm, I…I…” he stuttered.
Funmi: “Terence Ubochi, so you have the nerves to get married without my permission? Was that the agreement we had? We agreed that you can only get married with my approval and on my part, I promised to provide for all your financial needs. I have kept my part of the agreement and now you want to eat your cake and have it? Anyway, you have less than 48 hours to report to my house, my husband is out of the country and this time around you will give it to me so hard that I will get tired of you and kick your ass out for good. If you dare keep me waiting or refuse to turn up, I will kill you and your wife. Oh, you are surprised that I know? Chioma, that is her name right? I know everything about you and her, you just don’t try me. 48 hours after which you and Chioma will be killed, and your bodies dumped in your bedroom. You have been warned!”
She ended the call, leaving Terence speechless. He thought of Chioma and the three months foetus in her womb and he knew that there was fire on the mountain. Funmi was not the sort of woman that could be dared and he knew that he had to act fast to ensure the safety of his wife and their unborn child.
Question: Will Terence go and see her? Will Funmi ever let him go even after he sees her?
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