THE best way to forget a treacherous lover is to replace them with a better option. But this doesn’t happen often. The more attractive you think you are, the easier it is to pull. But what if you’re fat and you believe you’re not so pretty? For eight years, I was involved with a man who treated me like dirt. He wasn’t abusive when we first met. Within a couple of years of being together, James asked me to move in with him. I was happy to do so. I was in love, and despite my being on the chubby side, our sex life was fantastic. When our little boy was born a few years later, it was like icing on the cake. Only, James stopped talking about our getting married. He constantly sneered at my ballooning figure and called me fat and useless. When I couldn’t take the abuse any longer, I left with my son—I had my peace of mind at least. Yet I craved intimacy, fantasizing about sleeping with a man who respected me.
Although friends had urged me to start dating, I didn’t want to rush into anything—there was no way I’d risk my heart being broken by letting another man into my life and that of my little boy. My close friend advised I needn’t sacrifice good sex in my bid to find true love. Whilst I waited for a decent relationship, why not have one night stands? “You mean to sleep with a total stranger?” I asked her, shocked.
“He needn’t be a stranger. When next a man you like flirt with you, flirt right back and lure him to your bed!’’
“Easier said than done”, I thought, until when next I ran into Kay! He was a casual friend who’d always dated fat women. He’d felt my pulse often by teasing me on what he could do to me if he got me in a corner and we’d often laughed about it. So, when next we saw and he made his crude suggestions, I called his bluff. He was married but I told him couples often had sex without any emotional attachment. He instantly agreed, lust burning in his eyes. Did I want to go for it? Well, why not? He was stunned, couldn’t believe his luck. Was I completely sure? Of course, I assured him.
We agreed to meet at my place. I told him I wasn’t cooking any meal. He was to bring a take-away meal and a good bottle of wine. So we settled for the next weekend. I could think of nothing else the following days – I was really turned on by what I embarked on doing. That Saturday, I arranged for my son to spend the weekend with my elder sister’s children, then dug out some sexy undies. Before Kay arrived, I had a quick drink for Dutch courage that made me confident and relaxed. By the time Kay showed up late in the night, I was very excited. A tall and stocky man, he strutted in clutching carrier bags which I promptly put on the dining table. As soon as I poured him a glass of wine, he had a knowing smile spread across his face, a sort of today is the night leer. He put down his drink, marched straight over to where I was sitting and pulled me upright. As we started kissing passionately, I was lost. He was a good kisser. He smelt and felt amazing—looking really sexy under his cool T-shirt and faded jeans. I felt flattered he’d taken so much trouble to look nice for me. Taking off my boubou, felt exposed— and sexy at the lust in his eyes. He then lowered me unto my very inviting sofa and ran his hands all over my body. Then, without both of us saying anything, he made love to me. Believe me; I’d never experienced anything like it before, so urgent and uninhibited. We barely stopped for the next two hours. When we came up for air, Kay told me it was the best sex he’d had for years. I was incredibly flattered —it made me feel so attractive and powerful. Gently, I reminded him it was late—he had to go home. The meals he bought would come in handy when I picked up my son the next day.
A couple of days later, Kay rang the doorbell wanting a repeat performance. But I didn’t want to take things further with him. He phoned several times over the next few weeks, begging me to change my mind, but I politely declined. He was disappointed, but I’d been clear from the start I wasn’t looking for a relationship. In the end he got the message. But I don’t regret that night for a minute—it was the most electrifying experience of my life. After that, ever y time I feel a bit insecure or ugly, I remember how Kay fulfilled my ultimate fantasy—and I realise that I really am a gorgeous, sexy woman. All I need is the right man to fine-tune my potentials!
Recently, when my ex visited his son, he was amazed at how bubbly I looked and sounded. My self-confidence, which he tried so hard to erode, was back. I was no longer hostile to him especially when I mentally compared his prowess to Kay’s! He later wondered if I wanted us to have an outing with our son. I declined. He’d hurt me once, and I would be a fool to walk into his trap a second time. Now that I know there are men out there who find fat women attractive, I intend to make the most of my new-found confidence!