Ophelia: No I wasn’t and I am sorry for making you believe that I am.
Benicio: Who has been doing all the cooking for you before we got married?
Ophelia: Most times, I eat out and when I don’t, my room -mate do the cooking.
Benicio: She was the person who prepared the meal I ate while we were dating right?
Ophelia: Yes she was.
Benicio: Do you want to learn?
Ophelia: Yes but we can still employ people to do all of the house chores and cooking.
Benicio: ‘Let me think about it then’ he said and went to sleep.
He observed his wife and found out that he can’t cope with her attitude. They have been eating out and she hardly cleans her own home, all she cares about is partying and going to club and with this, he decided to tell his mother his pain for he cannot put up with her anymore and paid her a visit in the village.
Mama: ‘My son, how are you’ she said after welcoming him to the house
Benicio: I am fine Mama.
Mama: Are you sure because you do not look too good like the Ben I know. How is your wife?
Benicio: Mama she is fine and she is actually the reason I came to see you.
Mama: What is it? Hope no problem?
Benicio: Mama, I am tired of the marriage, I don’t think I can cope.
Mama: Ah!Ah! What do you mean you are tired of your marriage that is barely six months old?
Benicio: Mama, Ophelia is not the woman I thought she is.
Mama: ‘What is the problem’ she asked and Benicio explained all that has been happening in his home. How he feels neglected and abandoned by his wife. ‘I understand how you feel but right now, what do you want to do about it?
Benicio: That is the reason I am here Mama, to seek for your advice.
Mama: Hmmm, I warned you didn’t I? I told you that this woman you are about to marry is too big and wise for you but you wouldn’t listen. Your marriage is not even one year and you are already having issues with her.
Benicio: Mama nah, I came here for advice na. She doesn’t know how to do anything.
Mama: You want my candid opinion abi?
Benicio: Yes Mama. If not I wouldn’t be here.
Mama: Okay, the problem I see here is you; you are your own problem.
Benicio: What do you mean I am my own problem?
Mama: The earlier you start accepting her and her flaws, the better for you. You chose her as a wife and not me. Or wait oh, were you expecting me to tell you to return her bride price? She smiled and shook her head ‘I will not do that because if I should do so, you will still go out there and look for that perfect woman God never created. Learn to live with her flaws, accept her for who she is and she in turn will accept you for who you are. If you learn to accept her imperfection, maybe then, just maybe then will you find happiness because you too, you have your own flaws and I believe she is seeing them and not saying anything about it. This marriage is Legal and binding and there is nothing you or anyone can do about it except you want to lose all you have worked for these past years, for it will be a shame on you that you can’t simply keep a woman. My advice to you is work on yourself, when you are convinced within your heart that you are ready to take on your marriage and accept your flaws then talk to her the way a husband will talk to his wife not the way a master talks to his slave and you will see changes but first remember that you have to change first before she changes.
Benicio: Hmmm Mama, Ophelia is way too much for me to handle. I am not sure I can do that.
Mama: You can my son, the change has to start from you first. Do all this and see if there won’t be changes.
Benicio: What if after everything she doesn’t change.
Mama: Change first, change your mindset first before you talk of hers.
Benicio: Hmmm Mama, it is not going to be easy but I will do just that and thanks Mama, let me get going before she starts looking for me.
One year later, Benicio made a vow before God and Man to love his wife and love her imperfections while Ophelia also made a promise to be there for her husband through worse times and to be a better woman for him. For Benicio did as his mother had instructed him, though it wasn’t easy but he has come to love her and she herself has made it a duty to change her ways of life for them to be happy and have a better marriage.
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