Please help Me! I’ve been wearing my engagement ring for five years

I don’t know what will become of me if my worst fears happen to me. How on earth can I wear a ring for five years and still bear my father’s name? My fiance doesn’t even care since he proposed, to him, the right time has to come.

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My name is Ebere, I am 31 years old, I met IK 10 years ago during my final year at Nsukka. We have been dating for four years before he proposed to me with a very cute ring.

Altogether, we have been dating seriously for nine good years.

IK is 36 and fully established in all areas. He has a good business, a good apartment and two cars.

I also have a good job and we both love each other. Still, he thinks we should wait. Every time I ask him what exactly we are waiting for, he gets angry and upset.

My friends think I’m crazy for still wearing the ring. They believe he doesn’t want to marry me. I’m so confused. Why would a guy propose to a lady and keep her waiting for five years not counting the years before the ring?

I don’t know what to do. The last time I talked about it, his response scared me. He told me to remove the ring if it made me uncomfortable.

That response keeps ringing in my head. Does it mean he wants to ‘disengage’ me (if there is a word like that)

No word in the dictionary can aptly describe my fear. If he leaves me, I might die. –

I am tired of waiting.

What should I do? I have met his parents, he also met mine, but our parents have not been introduced. –

Please help me.

Should I remove the ring and consider myself single or wait till he decides?

Am I just being paranoid? But five years! Remember I’m 31… I love IK, but I’m not sure what’s going on with him and I have a biological clock that does not respect me!

When I don’t mention marriage, he is good, loving, doting and all, but once I mention marriage or stare at my ring finger for too long he gets angry.

I even attempted to get pregnant, but he warned me that would be the end of our relationship as no one would tie him down because of a baby.

Am I still engaged or simply the Chairlady of the ring association?



  1. My dear, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE and DONT LOOK BACK! It will be very difficult, I know, but a few months down the line, you’ll be grateful U ended it! That guy isn’t serious, he’s just eating you up and buying time when he’ll dump U for another – that’s even if there isn’t somebody elsewhere he’s seriously considering over U. Be wise and dump him before he dumps U!

  2. Your friends are right. Better remove that bondage that called ring in your hand. Engagement that is more than six months no longer engagement but tired up. remove it and free your self from that mess

  3. My candid advice to you: Firstly made up ur mind u r ready to let go should it doesn’t go as u would v wish to. When u r sure of your determination. Secondly, go to his house and ask him about marriage again, if he gets angry…don’t fight, don’t shout at him. Jus thank him 4 d wasted time, give him his ring and walk out. Evn thou he call on you, say hurtful words don’t look back. If he truly love and want you, he will come for you… After a month if no sign of him, my sister move on & accept another man. I don’t see reasons for his refusal wen u r both financially okay, 5 yrs engaged… Wot else?

  4. Awwwwwww sweet heart, the right name for u is chair leader association of rings. Don’t use ur tongue and count ur teeth

  5. Hmmm, to me, since both of you are finacia ok and both of you love each, to the extend of engaging you for over 5years, i dont see anything delaying you guys of getting married if the guy did not have another woman in his life. my own advice is that you should firstly meet his family since you know them and talk about the issue with them, becaus am very sure that with his age and very well ok man his family should be asking him what his keeping not yet married. and if you see that that one is not work out just talk to him by your for the last time and even is the same result just walk away without engaging in fight with him and even he refuse to come back for you after month, just forget about him totally and move on your life, because that is what his waiting for just that he did not know how to tell you.

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