This is an experience one encounters with the Nigerian Police at check points.
Why is your laptop bag empty, you want to steal a laptop and keep it in the bag abi? Oya, enter the motor!
Oga, this your Range Rover Sport car is fine o. Oya, use it to hit that wall there let’s see if your airbag is working. Oh! So you don’t want to use it to hit the wall abi? Oya, park!!! I say park before I break your head with my baton.
Why is your car not having A/C? You want to use heat to kill yourself. You want to commit suicide abi. Oga, park well!
The picture on your driver’s license, you carry afro (lots of hair), why do you now carry low cut? Come down now!.
Why do you have fertiliser in your boot? You are growing weed abi? Follow us to the station!
MAN: He snatched my WALLET and I was about to shout “THIEF” when three HEAVY slaps landed on my face. I didn’t see anything for thirty minutes except STARS.
POLICEMAN: Can you describe the stars?